I was reading a headline in the Onion which said: "Many Americans Too Fat to Commit Suicide." The Onion is a satirical newspaper and as I was reading this, waiting for my coffee in Dunn Brothers, I burst out laughing. Well wouldn't ya know it but there is a man standing next to me- And this man... This man was so fat he did not have fingers, they were stubby little nibs! He was so plump I would imagine Santa would say "Damn..." And he was giving me a look that was a mixture of anger and possibly hunger. I just kind of stared back at him for a moment and then my coffee was done so I left. As I was leaving I farted in his direction.
It's quite warm out and Jay won't stop bugging me for us to get an air conditioner, possibly one in our room. I think we should just sleep without clothes, but apparently he likes wearing his. What is wrong with the youth of America today?
I believe I will make some turkey burgers tonight for dinner. Mmm... Burgers...
I may post more later but I have to get back to cleaning. ..... Or playing the video game. Sometimes I have a task, I'm walking to the bedroom or kitchen or the room I need to do it in, and it takes one shiny object to distract me. For instance - I come home from work and need to use the bathroom. I'm heading toward the bathroom but notice I should plug in my iPod so I plug it in, but there's Brownie and he's so cute! I need to let him out, so I let him out and come inside and get out the broom because the house definitely needs to be swept. So I set the broom down before I start to move the rugs out of the way but I need a snack - Mmm, doughnuts, yum! Now I need milk - but we are out of milk, I should get some. putting my shoes on Brownie looks like he needs to go out so I let him out, take off my shoes, and sit on the couch and ready the internet, I should check my mail. And that lead me here. Now, why are my pants off and why is there a large Jewish woman standing in my living room pointing out my failures and making me regret my life choices?!
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1 comment:
All I can say is I love you and your witty banter more than you can ever know!
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