"You come back." exclaimed the chinese waiter

Hello! Well I told you I wouldn't post daily, so here I am a few days in and we have so much to cover.

First of all, I received an email which reads "Don't drink from the new Pepsi can." The reason? Because the Pepsi corp. has released a new can design with the pledge of allegiance or something on it and at the end it does not say 'Under God'. The email further reads that Pepsi purposely left out the saying because they didn't want to offend anyone. The smart-ass comment at the end of the email says "We hope we don't offend you Pepsi by not buying your soda!" (PS. I'm probably leaving out parts of the email but maybe I will get it and post it on here....) Anyhow, I am totally offended by that ridiculous email! First of all people, THE PEPSI CANS THEMSELVES ARE RED, WHITE, AND BLUE. Second of all, it DOES make sense to leave the phrase Under God out because there are millions of people who do not believe in God and therefore they would totally offend more people if they put the phrase on there! Well, I don't know about that part but still!! Now to clarify, I do believe in God or some form whatsoever - But I am still offended by the sheer stupidity of the idiot who created that email. And I heard from a friend-of-a-friend that God was all like "I love Pepsi that email is dumb."

Everyone should know that at work today I walked into the stall, closed the door, sat down to go numero dos and FELL INTO THE TOILET. It was a struggle just peeling my bubble butt out of the bowl but I made it, and everything came out A-OK! *gives a wink and a thumbs up* I am spreading the rumor around work that the seats should be put down when we finish using the potty because it can be a safety hazard if you aren't paying attention!

I want to give a shout out to Amy, I hope you liked the candles and I hope you are feeling better! Also a shout out to Jay for cleaning the kitchen it was all shiny, thanks!

Have you ever been talking to someone of importance and suddenly you lose all body control? Out of the blue you have an outrageous fart or an eye twitch or something? I was talking to my sup. today and suddenly I lost all balance and simply fell over in his office. It was only funny because I was inches away from hitting my head on his desk when I went down. I picked myself up and smiled, but the disturbing note is that he didn't seem the least bit surprised.

Being a pimp is hard work. I'm all smackin' mah bitches when they get out a line and then adjustin' mah feathered hat and my fur coat...